Do you allow yourself to dream? I mean really dream? Huge, almost unimaginable wishes for yourself? It wasn't until recently that I realized that I wasn't. I was never truly allowing myself to dream big. I always kept my dreams small, realistic, and what I believed to be "doable." My dreams were "safe." They were things I could easily achieve often with little fear standing in my way. But doing that was setting limits for myself. I was basically deciding what was and wasn't possible before even trying. And if I've learned anything these past couple years, it's that anything is possible. Going from non-athlete to marathon runner really helped me see this. Dreams can be huge, wild, crazy, scary, etc... And really, shouldn't they be? It's those wild, unimaginable dreams that really help you appreciate who it is that you are. They give you purpose. Something to reach for. When you limit your dreams, you're holding yourself back. You'...

It's been almost four months since I ran my first marathon, and practically that long since I've written a blog post. I know I never quite finished my marathon story here, but I've found it increasingly difficult to return to it. Just as I took a break from running to recover, I seemed to have also taken an unintentional break from writing and creating, too. I'm now slowly returning to everything. It is not only taking effort to build back up my running, but also my writing and creating. And even though it is challenging, these are all necessary activities for me that I hold dear to my heart. As I add them all back into my life, I'm feeling happier, less lost, and more alive. The marathon was an incredible experience. As I've written before, the weather was crazy and my emotions overflowed. Once I started, the weather remained awful, but my emotions actually calmed. I may have been wet, and a little cold, but I had my music in one ear and I was running. I ...

As I mentioned before, in the days leading up to the CIM , I was extremely nervous and emotional. I can't tell you when I did something that scared me so much. I really can't. But I faced that fear. Early that Sunday morning, as the rain and wind beat against the house, I got my stuff together and prepared to start, and hopefully finish, my first marathon. Fortunately, I wasn't alone at the start. My friend Paula (whom I had run several races with during the year, including the NWM half marathon in SF ) was just crazy enough to try a marathon with me. So our beloved husbands dropped us off on that dark, stormy morning, armed with their love and encouragement, as well as our rain ponchos, sports goo, etc.. We were dropped off about a mile from the start and I will say that the weather was crazy awful. As we climbed out of the car, we were immediately greeted by the heavy wind and rain. We pushed towards the growing mass of runners and long lines of port-a-potties (an unfort...

Here I am! I did survive my first marathon on December 2, 2012! I am officially a marathoner! Yay! For those who have been wondering, I am sorry I left you hanging for so, so long. December brought some unexpected distractions and I feel like I'm just realizing its January, even though we're over half way through it. Yikes. Nonetheless, here I am 1-1/2 months later and 26.2 miles further into the amazing journey that is my life. As I left off , I grew increasingly nervous as I got closer to the California International Marathon ( CIM ). Not only had my training not gone as plan due to injury (aka IT Band issues ), but the weather became a huge factor. In past years, the CIM would generally fall on a cool, crisp day, but no such luck for me. It was stormy, wet weather with 30-50 mph winds. I must have checked the weather forecast hundreds of times in the days leading up to it, hoping to see a calmer forecast (and I swear when I went to bed the night before, the forecast was cal...

I've been wanting to write a blog post for a while now, but I just can't seem to settle my thoughts long enough to do it. So please forgive the brevity of this post. It is simply an attempt to reach out and help settle my thoughts. This Sunday will be my very first marathon. 26.2 miles. My training, this journey, began eight months ago when I bravely signed up to run in the CIM . And oh what a journey it has been. In recent months, I've been dealing with setback after setback in my training and it makes me nervous. It makes me nervous when things don't go as planned. I am even a little scared. Excited, too, but mostly scared. But that's okay because I am also open. Open to the experience and open to possibilities. Big things happen when we dare to step outside our comfort zone. Some say that's when magic happens. And running a marathon, possibly in the pouring rain, definitely equates to stepping outside of my comfort zone. So wish me luck as I step up to the s...

It's my final marathon Monday (on Tuesday) and it's time to get to the bottom of this story. I have dragged it out long enough. I almost completed the story last time, but then I was worried about my blog post being too long. I got over that when I shared about my Nike's Women's Half Marathon experience. So today is the day I try to explain why I signed up to run a marathon. It will probably get a little choppy and I might repeat a bit from previous posts, but I promise this blog post will go the distance. It's time to run long. Things changed for me in March. Before that, the thought of running further than a 5K, let alone a marathon, never ever crossed my mind. I even had a couple friends suggest the idea earlier, like training for a 10K or even a half marathon, but I would quickly dismiss it and never give it a second thought. It was crazy talk. But then in March, things started to change. The first thing I remember from March was my run-in with an old classma...

As I've mentioned before, I joined Weight Watchers this past January which led me to finally lose the weight I had struggled with since college. In fact, I lost 42 lbs total and this week I achieved Lifetime status . Before joining Weight Watchers, I had tried countless combinations of diets and workout routines, but I had little long-term success. Nothing seemed to stick. Even doing the Couch to 5K program and running several 5Ks last year didn't help me lose weight. But running did break my previous pattern, since I actually enjoyed it and wanted to continue. But something more would need to happen for me to successfully lose weight. And this year I finally figured out what the extra something was: I needed help. Seems simple enough, right? Well it's taken me years, practically my lifetime, to come to this "simple" realization. Being raised strong and independent, I'm often most comfortable being in control and solving my own problems. But trying to do it...

It's Marathon Monday again and it's time to get back to my story after last week's interruption . You may remember I left off with the Couch to 5K program and getting "hooked" on running. While completing the nine week program, I actually started enjoying running for the sake of running which helped me complete the program and then continue running. After I completed the program at the end of June last year, I decided I should actually find a 5K to run. It had never been my goal in the beginning, but it seemed a natural next step in my journey. So I found a local 5K for a cause near and dear to my heart: my first 5K was the Race for the Arts . It was a wonderful experience, so I decided to run two more, one being a 5K marking the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 and the other a 5K to raise money for ovarian cancer (a cause dear to a friend).The races were fun and rewarding, and I really could have done more, but with the holidays approaching we just didn't have t...

I realize that the other day , I was a bit vague. I wrote about the "stories" we often tell ourselves, but I didn't really share my specific "stories." I shared examples of my rewritten stories such as my running and weight-loss, but I didn't share any of my current "stories." Stories of things I've always thought were impossible to change. Things I thought were "just me." "That's just the way I am." And you know why I didn't share? I was scared. I was scared to admit them and face the possibility that things could be different. But I am going to share. So many little things lined up that I need to share. The other day, I came to realize that I've spent a lifetime telling myself one story that I've never, ever considered questioning-- I am shy and quiet . But do I have to be shy and quiet? Do I need to be fearful of speaking in front of people? I can change that if I want to? My head is spinning. Ima...

Red Typewriter by Mandy Lynne Are you a storyteller? I am discovering that I am. Now, I don't mean the kind of storytelling I started on Monday on with the Marathon Mondays . Not the kind where you are retelling a great adventure or sharing an interesting experience with a friend. Or the kind of stories that you might tell your children about knights and princesses and dragons, etc. I mean the made-up "stories," or lies, you tell yourself, like "I can't do ____, because I'm not _____." Earlier this week, thanks to Tiffany and an eye-opening conversation, I began to realize that I am quite the storyteller. I often tell myself "stories" about things that aren't necessarily true. For instance, I used to tell myself I couldn't lose weight because it's too hard or I couldn't be an athlete because I'm not coordinated. But I finally recognized these things as untrue "stories" so now I've lost 40lbs and I...