I've been sitting on some news for a month now. Last month, on my birthday, I got swept away in a daring moment. I was celebrating another year of life (and what an amazing year it was), watching the inspirational Biggest Loser finale, and processing the early death of an acquaintance. And in that moment, I felt a strong need to recommit to myself, my health, and cherish being alive. And so what does one do in that instance? Well I took a daring leap. I jumped online and signed up to run the California International Marathon again this December. I then quickly questioned my sanity. Needless to say, running 26.2 miles is hard, but all the training that goes into it is even harder. And the further I've gotten from December 2nd, the more afraid I've been to do it again. But I remember feeling the desire to do it again that same day, right after finishing my first marathon. I wanted the chance to do it injury-free, so I could give it my all. And I trusted that crazy "some...

Hmm... So what do I mean by this? Let me explain. It started with a few seemingly unrelated ideas. The first bit came last fall from a conversation I had with Tiffany Han , a wonderfully inspiring life coach. It was brought to my attention that things that I had always thought were inherently true about myself didn't have to be that way. If I wanted to change something, I could. I was the storyteller of my life and I could rewrite the story if I so desired. I had that power. Hmm... Then, last month, I finished watching the 14th season of NBC's the Biggest Loser . I've only watch one other season, but both times I found it incredibly inspiring. And one of the contestants, Jackson , at one point said, "Weight loss is 100% mental. You have to want it more than anything." Now from reading people's comments on Facebook, not everyone embraces this point of view. But I recognized its value. I had seen this in my own weight loss journey, as well as in long distance ...

It's been almost four months since I ran my first marathon, and practically that long since I've written a blog post. I know I never quite finished my marathon story here, but I've found it increasingly difficult to return to it. Just as I took a break from running to recover, I seemed to have also taken an unintentional break from writing and creating, too. I'm now slowly returning to everything. It is not only taking effort to build back up my running, but also my writing and creating. And even though it is challenging, these are all necessary activities for me that I hold dear to my heart. As I add them all back into my life, I'm feeling happier, less lost, and more alive. The marathon was an incredible experience. As I've written before, the weather was crazy and my emotions overflowed. Once I started, the weather remained awful, but my emotions actually calmed. I may have been wet, and a little cold, but I had my music in one ear and I was running. I ...

My first "zentangle" I know I owe you the end to my marathon story, but today I need to interrupt that slow moving story for a visit to the present. Since completing my first marathon last December and losing over 40lbs in the process of training, I've actually felt a little lost. After months of training and "dieting," I had reached my finish line. I had achieved some really big goals and faced some really big challenges and fears. So now what? You'd think "set another goal" followed, but between slowing down my running to heal and the holidays and the unpredictability of life, I was hesitant to push myself into another goal right away. And that was alright at first. I had been working hard and a break was in order. So with mixed emotions, I stopped running for awhile and I enjoyed the holidays with my family. I even snuck in a family trip to Disneyland to ring in the New Year (what better way to celebrate a year filled with incredible accom...

As I mentioned before, in the days leading up to the CIM , I was extremely nervous and emotional. I can't tell you when I did something that scared me so much. I really can't. But I faced that fear. Early that Sunday morning, as the rain and wind beat against the house, I got my stuff together and prepared to start, and hopefully finish, my first marathon. Fortunately, I wasn't alone at the start. My friend Paula (whom I had run several races with during the year, including the NWM half marathon in SF ) was just crazy enough to try a marathon with me. So our beloved husbands dropped us off on that dark, stormy morning, armed with their love and encouragement, as well as our rain ponchos, sports goo, etc.. We were dropped off about a mile from the start and I will say that the weather was crazy awful. As we climbed out of the car, we were immediately greeted by the heavy wind and rain. We pushed towards the growing mass of runners and long lines of port-a-potties (an unfort...

Here I am! I did survive my first marathon on December 2, 2012! I am officially a marathoner! Yay! For those who have been wondering, I am sorry I left you hanging for so, so long. December brought some unexpected distractions and I feel like I'm just realizing its January, even though we're over half way through it. Yikes. Nonetheless, here I am 1-1/2 months later and 26.2 miles further into the amazing journey that is my life. As I left off , I grew increasingly nervous as I got closer to the California International Marathon ( CIM ). Not only had my training not gone as plan due to injury (aka IT Band issues ), but the weather became a huge factor. In past years, the CIM would generally fall on a cool, crisp day, but no such luck for me. It was stormy, wet weather with 30-50 mph winds. I must have checked the weather forecast hundreds of times in the days leading up to it, hoping to see a calmer forecast (and I swear when I went to bed the night before, the forecast was cal...

I've been wanting to write a blog post for a while now, but I just can't seem to settle my thoughts long enough to do it. So please forgive the brevity of this post. It is simply an attempt to reach out and help settle my thoughts. This Sunday will be my very first marathon. 26.2 miles. My training, this journey, began eight months ago when I bravely signed up to run in the CIM . And oh what a journey it has been. In recent months, I've been dealing with setback after setback in my training and it makes me nervous. It makes me nervous when things don't go as planned. I am even a little scared. Excited, too, but mostly scared. But that's okay because I am also open. Open to the experience and open to possibilities. Big things happen when we dare to step outside our comfort zone. Some say that's when magic happens. And running a marathon, possibly in the pouring rain, definitely equates to stepping outside of my comfort zone. So wish me luck as I step up to the s...

I am about to embark on a new adventure and I'm both excited and nervous. I am joining my beloved friend and life coach, Tiffany Han , on a 30 Day Social Media Rehab . For 30 days, I will be unplugging myself from Facebook and reconnecting with myself. My reason for making this commitment is not because I lose hours to Facebook daily (although weekly could be a different story), but because I continue to fall victim to comparison gremlins. Even though I just wrote a blog post about not comparing ourselves because we are all special and different, I still find it difficult to remember this at times. And Facebook just gives me too much material for comparison. In the past, it's mainly been about my creativity and productivity, but at this point I'm also comparing myself as a runner. In training for my first marathon (the CIM , quickly approaching on December 2nd), I've unfortunately learned that training doesn't always go as planned. So I'm feeling under prepare...

It's my final marathon Monday (on Tuesday) and it's time to get to the bottom of this story. I have dragged it out long enough. I almost completed the story last time, but then I was worried about my blog post being too long. I got over that when I shared about my Nike's Women's Half Marathon experience. So today is the day I try to explain why I signed up to run a marathon. It will probably get a little choppy and I might repeat a bit from previous posts, but I promise this blog post will go the distance. It's time to run long. Things changed for me in March. Before that, the thought of running further than a 5K, let alone a marathon, never ever crossed my mind. I even had a couple friends suggest the idea earlier, like training for a 10K or even a half marathon, but I would quickly dismiss it and never give it a second thought. It was crazy talk. But then in March, things started to change. The first thing I remember from March was my run-in with an old classma...

image from Tiffany Han I've been a little off lately. Nothing really major, just little things. Recovering from my ankle injury and getting back on track with my marathon training (Only 39 days from now! Yikes!). Running behind on numerous things like Halloween decorations, birthday planning, and blog writing, etc.. Falling victim to a seemingly insatiable sweet tooth (emotional eating at it's finest). I've been feeling a bit out of sorts. And then yesterday, I happened upon a blog post by my friend/life coach, Tiffany. She shared a list of 13 things she'd like to accomplish before 2013. With so much starting to swirl around in my head, making a list was just what I needed. So I made a list: Keep running 1. Continue my marathon training. I have one more half marathon this Sunday . I also plan on doing strength training at least twice/week (whether its at the gym or at home--no excuses) until the big day. 2. Run my first marathon on December 2nd ( CIM )! C...

I know I missed Marathon Monday this week and I promise I'll get back to the story where I left off last week . But today I am going to skip ahead to tell another story in my marathon training saga. A long story. This past weekend I ran a half marathon at the Nike Women's Marathon (NWM) in San Francisco which was my second half marathon. It was an incredible experience, both the race and the process it took to get there. The NWM is a huge race (25,000 runners) with a huge reputation for a beautiful course, San Francsico hills, and Tiffany's & Co finisher's necklaces handed out by fireman dressed in tuxedos. As big as it is, it can take some work to enter the race. For many of the spots, there's a lottery held early in the year. And I'll be honest, I didn't know this race existed when the lottery occurred. But as I learned more about running, I learned about more races and this one popped up. At first, I was far too intimidated by the thought...

As I've mentioned before, I joined Weight Watchers this past January which led me to finally lose the weight I had struggled with since college. In fact, I lost 42 lbs total and this week I achieved Lifetime status . Before joining Weight Watchers, I had tried countless combinations of diets and workout routines, but I had little long-term success. Nothing seemed to stick. Even doing the Couch to 5K program and running several 5Ks last year didn't help me lose weight. But running did break my previous pattern, since I actually enjoyed it and wanted to continue. But something more would need to happen for me to successfully lose weight. And this year I finally figured out what the extra something was: I needed help. Seems simple enough, right? Well it's taken me years, practically my lifetime, to come to this "simple" realization. Being raised strong and independent, I'm often most comfortable being in control and solving my own problems. But trying to do it...

It's Marathon Monday (continued from here ) Last week's Marathon Monday left off with my decision to join Weight Watchers. Now joining Weight Watchers is a story all it's own and I'll share that, too, but today I'm going to concentrate on the running part of my story. So the new year came and I joined Weight Watchers. With my renewed commitment to losing weight and getting healthy, I started running again. Since it had been awhile, I started the Couch to 5K program again. I progressed through the program more quickly and before I knew it, I was calling myself a runner again. And I was happy to be running, so I shared. I loved sharing my running experience even though, up until this point, I had pretty much been a runner in isolation. I'd share my runs in conversation or on Facebook, but I didn't really know any runners. But sometime in March that started to change. I started meeting other runners. For instance, I remember a chance meeting with an ol...

It's Marathon Monday again and it's time to get back to my story after last week's interruption . You may remember I left off with the Couch to 5K program and getting "hooked" on running. While completing the nine week program, I actually started enjoying running for the sake of running which helped me complete the program and then continue running. After I completed the program at the end of June last year, I decided I should actually find a 5K to run. It had never been my goal in the beginning, but it seemed a natural next step in my journey. So I found a local 5K for a cause near and dear to my heart: my first 5K was the Race for the Arts . It was a wonderful experience, so I decided to run two more, one being a 5K marking the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 and the other a 5K to raise money for ovarian cancer (a cause dear to a friend).The races were fun and rewarding, and I really could have done more, but with the holidays approaching we just didn't have t...

I interrupt this regularly scheduled Marathon Monday for a bit of a panic attack. I started writing this blog post in my head last week as I started to look ahead at my running schedule. The miles are building and so is the unknown. To train to run a marathon, most programs have you running at least four times a week with one of those runs being a long run, as I am doing. Each week you increase both the distance of your long run as well as your total weekly miles. Soon my long runs will be passing the half marathon distance (13.1 miles) which is uncharted territory for me. The unknown has me a bit nervous, so much so that I'm feeling nervous even when I go out for a "short" run. Regardless, I still get out there. Marathon training has definitely been valuable practice in routinely facing fears. So last week, my long run was twelve miles. I faced my fear and I did it! And it felt good. I thought I had maybe turned a corner. But then I came home with an achy ankle that did...

Last night, while my hubby enjoyed a night playing cards, my girls and I enjoyed a night of cookie baking and movie watching. We began our evening making homemade Oreos recently shared by Bakerella . We had a lot of fun measuring, tasting, mess-making, etc.. The cookie batter turned out awesome, even with different chocolate chips and cocoa powder. Unfortunately, since I'm not the best at reading ahead before starting, I soon discovered that due to a few hours of chilling, we weren't going to be eating homemade Oreos before bedtime (even a fairly late bedtime). Boo hoo! The girls were actually very understanding, so we chilled the dough, watched our movie ( Princess Diaries ), and went to bed. And then the cookie making continued in the morning, because there's no better way to start the day than with fresh baked Oreos! Yum!

I realize that the other day , I was a bit vague. I wrote about the "stories" we often tell ourselves, but I didn't really share my specific "stories." I shared examples of my rewritten stories such as my running and weight-loss, but I didn't share any of my current "stories." Stories of things I've always thought were impossible to change. Things I thought were "just me." "That's just the way I am." And you know why I didn't share? I was scared. I was scared to admit them and face the possibility that things could be different. But I am going to share. So many little things lined up that I need to share. The other day, I came to realize that I've spent a lifetime telling myself one story that I've never, ever considered questioning-- I am shy and quiet . But do I have to be shy and quiet? Do I need to be fearful of speaking in front of people? I can change that if I want to? My head is spinning. Ima...

Here we go again, it's Marathon Monday #2 (continued from here ): Week 1, Day 1 of Couch to 5K ( my first run ): May 1st, 2011 "It felt good to get outside. Running was hard, but short enough to do." ~from my C25K app journal entry When I took my first run last year, it was not love at "first step." Running for even one minute at a time was rough. It was hard on my heart, my lungs, my legs, etc.. But I was determined. I needed to get healthy. Earlier in the year, I had started my fitness journey (another year, another try) by using our elliptical machine while watching TV. As warmer weather and longer days approached, the ellipse became more and more of a chore. TV shows I had been watching while on the ellipse were ending. And it was getting harder to be indoors, with the nicer weather. Not to mention how difficult it was becoming to stay inside among the household clutter that comes with a busy family. I needed a change. So as challenging as it was, the C...

Fall wreath made with wire hanger, burlap strips, and fabric scraps Do you ever find yourself so inspired that you just can't sleep? So inspired that your heart races with excitement? So inspired that your mind races with ideas? I certainly do and that's what I am experiencing right now. I am inspired in so many ways it's crazy. This always seems to happen as we approach this time of year . Fall is coming! I really treasure everything about fall, whether it's the cooler weather, football Sundays, hot tea, and the smell of cinnamon. Family time visiting Apple Hill and local pumpkin patches. Time spent baking yummy treats and making seasonal crafts and decor. Celebrating Halloween and my daughter's birthday and Thanksgiving. What is not to love about fall? And to top it off, the arrival of fall brings us closer and closer to the most wonderful time of the year--Christmas (today marks just 100 days until the big day--Yay!)

Red Typewriter by Mandy Lynne Are you a storyteller? I am discovering that I am. Now, I don't mean the kind of storytelling I started on Monday on with the Marathon Mondays . Not the kind where you are retelling a great adventure or sharing an interesting experience with a friend. Or the kind of stories that you might tell your children about knights and princesses and dragons, etc. I mean the made-up "stories," or lies, you tell yourself, like "I can't do ____, because I'm not _____." Earlier this week, thanks to Tiffany and an eye-opening conversation, I began to realize that I am quite the storyteller. I often tell myself "stories" about things that aren't necessarily true. For instance, I used to tell myself I couldn't lose weight because it's too hard or I couldn't be an athlete because I'm not coordinated. But I finally recognized these things as untrue "stories" so now I've lost 40lbs and I...